I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize