I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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