Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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