Pappa wants mamma naked
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
