Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
