i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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