drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
