I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
