Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
