Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
