billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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