The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
