i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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