i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
