You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
