drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
