Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
