i permit you to call me
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize