Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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