therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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