Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
