When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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