shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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