Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
