I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize