for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
