I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
