My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you have feelings for this penis?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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