I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
A+ Viking dick
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
