dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize