my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
