I heard we made out
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Its about making memories worth repressing
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
