Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
