Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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