Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
