dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
