She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
