Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he told me I talked like a deaf person
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
