I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
