thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
