At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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