My room smells like vodka and shame
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
