yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
