You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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