In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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