Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
