so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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