Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
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