I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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