I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just forgot I was standing up.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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