but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
