so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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