I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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