if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
