The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wish my penis had a tongue
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
