I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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