maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
