I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
