Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize