She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
