I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's just like the Real World with babies
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
