I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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