Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Pappa wants mamma naked
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
