He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
