hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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