that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
