THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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