Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize