Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
