we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
