if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
