Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
