I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just forgot I was standing up.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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