it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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