marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
