My room smells like vodka and shame
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
