He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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