i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
