I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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